I have no free time, I can't do what I love... It is said that "marriage is not cost-effective," and many people are unable to take the first step. However, in fact, the value of "married life" has been updated with the times, and it is now possible to choose a lifestyle that suits you! Emma, who is popular on Twitter, proposes a new style of marriage based on examples of herself and the couples around her. This time, we asked her to talk about the version of her view of marriage in connection with her special feature, "Will your life change at 30?"
When you were a child, didn't you talk about "By what age do you want to get married?" In fact, when I was in elementary school, I remember saying, "I want to get married by the age of 24."
When I was in elementary school, I was a fine adult at 24 years old, but in reality, I was still too fluffy, and I didn't even have a sign of marriage. Both love and work were calm and zero.
Other girls also said in various numbers, "I want to get married by the age of ○", but I clearly remember that no one expected marriage in their 30s.
Ever since I was a child, I had the stereotype that "the first child after marriage should be in your 20s" . In fact, I think there are many women who want to get married by the age of 30, even if they don't say it out loud.
Some people think that by the time they turn 30, it's a good time to get married. Some people think so.
However, in proportion to that, even at the age of 30, "I have no experience in love at all", "I'm worried if I can meet a marriage partner after breaking up with my long-term boyfriend...", "After building a career a little more." I want to deal with marriage and child-rearing...” It is true that more and more girls are worrying about this.
It is no exaggeration to say that it is common sense to start worrying about such things before the age of 30. The number of such dramas is increasing.
The worries of women who are about to turn 30 are very real
I use the analogy of "the early 20s is the PMS period of life" , but I spend my days worrying unnecessarily, being pessimistic unnecessarily, and thinking, "I'm the best!" isn't it?
Even if I say worries, it's vague, like I'm somehow worried about myself now, and I'm somehow worried about the future. Looking back, I think that even my worries were soft and fluffy.
But, The worries before 30 years old are very realistic .
When starting something, nothing is "I don't know what I don't know". In my early 20s, I felt that way both in society and as a person. coming. That's why, in front of my eyes, "worries" suddenly stand in my way.
If your 20-year-old worries are like, "Yeah, it can't be helped if you think about it," then your 30-year-old worries are like, "Maybe you should really think about that. I'm sure it's something very important to you. I think.
It is useless to face vague "anxiety"
That's why I think that if you're about to turn 30 and you're worried about "marriage", you should face it properly without looking away .
However, what I want you to be careful about is that it is useless to face “anxiety” .
Anxiety is pessimism about a future that never happens, such as, "What if I die alone forever?"
Do you know that it is said that 80% of anxiety does not happen in reality ?
From my point of view, adults in their early thirties should not have such vague, unfounded fears. Let it end in the PMS period of life. The important thing is to think concretely about what you want to accomplish, what you have left unfinished in life, and what kind of life and environment you would be happy to live in as a person and as a woman.
The worries before your 30s are realistic, but you can't forget your dreams. After all, I'm old enough to understand myself.
Think hard about what is important to you, what you want to spend time on, and what kind of people you want to be with. Because I've become smarter as a person, and I'm fatter as a woman.
The answer I came up with when I was deepening my understanding of my existence is a good answer, isn't it? I've been through both sweet and sour experiences, but I'm still young, and when I act with dreams and hopes, it all comes true.
Recently, I've been able to think, "Maybe I'm used to the wonderful adult woman I envisioned in my teens and 20s...!"
Don't be swayed by the yardstick of age. cherish your feelings
That's why I don't want you to be swayed by the people around you or your age . I want you to be confident that you've lived this far, and take care of your heart and feelings.
I want to fall in love! I want to work! Want to get married! I want children! I like this person! type! I think I'm going to be a good dad! I want you to cherish the intuition and sensations you feel in your heart.
on the other hand,
I don't want to get married right now. You don't seem to like this person. i don't want to have sex Good as a boyfriend, but what about as a father? You don't seem to take good care of me. I don't think I want children.
I want you to take care of that kind of feeling. Because it should be the feeling you got from the experience you've lived so far.
I don't want you to be overwhelmed by the sense of duty that you have to build a career, have a relationship, get married . Recently, I want to do this! I feel that there are a lot of women who neglect such a feeling.
Senses tend to be vague, but that's not the case. It's an answer that mobilizes all your life experiences and puts out your brain and heart.
What should always be cherished is "What does my true heart seek?" , "What does my true heart seekIt doesn't come from impatience or anxiety like "I have to get married..." or "I have to show my grandchildren to my parents...".
I know myself from things overflowing with dreams and hopes that I want to live in such a future. It's not pretty, I'm saying it seriously.
Don't forget your dreams and hopes in your 30s. Because we live a surreal life. I mean, if you survive, you have the power to make it come true.
Being realistic doesn't mean thinking about marriage or age. It's about how well you know yourself now. And it's about following it purely.
Please take back the honesty that you have forgotten. No matter how you look at it, she's wrapped in a happy aura because she's a woman in her 30s whose purity has been polished.